He liked my pic, I clicked his too
Sent me hearts in neon blue
Said he plays guitar and skates at night
I said, “Cool,” then clicked “Add to Site”

Then came Jake with the frosted tips
Said, “You’re the reason I canceled my trip”
Oh no, decisions, decisions
So I made one bold revision

Logged on, lit up, changed my fate
Boys in line, I made my bait
Not one, not two, I chose all eight
Welcome to my love debate

I put ’em all in my Top 8, baby
Let ’em clash like it’s the early 80s
Bulletins flyin’, drama ignitin’
These boys are barkin’, scratchin’, bitin’

I’m watchin’ from my glitter throne
The winner gets to walk me home
Yeah, let ‘em post, let ‘em fight
Only one’s takin’ me out tonight

Chad’s got muscles, Troy’s got style
AIM’s blowin’ up every mile
Ben just changed his profile song
“You’re So Last Summer” boy, move on

Zac uploaded a shirtless pic
Said, “Vote for me, I’m her top pick”
Oh the chaos, sweet obsession
Guess I’m teaching them a lesson

Status: “Single,” but that might change
By the end of this Top 8 cage
Love is war and I’m the spark
In my pixel-perfect park

I put ’em all in my Top 8, baby
Watch the comments turnin’ shady
GIFs and glitz, they’re throwin’ shade
But I’m the queen of this crusade

Tom’s just watchin’, crackin’ up
As their friend counts self-destruct
Yeah, let ‘em post, let ‘em fight
Only one’s takin’ me out tonight

It’s not about who’s sweet or hot
It’s who can take the final shot
Survival of the fittest flirt
First one to cry, that’s who I hurt

“Don’t cry, it’s only bandwidth, babe…
You wanna get with me? Then change your layout!”

I put ’em all in my Top 8, baby
Let the fight get internet-crazy
Hearts and hacks, they’re goin’ wild
All just for this top-clicked child

Now the dust has finally cleared
One boy left, the rest all feared
He gets the date, he won the game
And now he’s got my last name (well… maybe)

Top 8… hearts on display…
They clicked, they clashed, then scrolled away…
Now I log off with no regret
You play to win, or you’re just a friend request.

(Friend request… friend request…)